Today, we salute you, Mr. Mini Golf Course Yard Decor Man!

On my way to pick up some pumpkins for carving, I happened to take a particular notice in the lawn decoration choices around my neighborhood.

Bambi

Although I’ve lived at my apartment for about two years, it hadn’t really occurred to me until this afternoon that most of the people in my ‘hood are ridiculously addicted to lawn garnishes. The typical rose-bush, lawn chair and forlorn shoe just won’t do at all. No, instead these folks have opted to either display their devotion to A. Religious paraphernalia, B. Sports teams, or C. Fuzzy Animals.

 

The religious paraphernalia is my personal favorite. Saints, Mother Mary… Buddah. One yard had their statue of Mary stolen from the hollowed blue shell that the blessed virgin called her home. I thought that was a little busted…. MARY COME HOME! It’s Boston, we’re all very Italian and religious on our high holidays or when the Red Sox are winning (…. wait). The Mary statue is everywhere! I stopped photographing her simply because I didn’t have enough memory space and because

This person's true loves: Mary and Satan

the photos were so monotonous. Also, it’s Halloween and everyone is wicked excited to bring out the cotton stuffing and create the worst spider’s web ever. Charlotte would have a fit and bite every single one of these offenders! Mary typically deputes alongside the decorations for the Devil’s holiday.

A conundrum that I’m yet to understand.

I AM the Page Master!

What really caught my attention was the incredible tribute to Boston sports teams in a yard right near my favorite cafe, The Biscuit. This yard is out of control, filled with homemade wooden signs and carvings that resemble a mini golf course to the tee. I hope this individual rightfully stole these items from a theme park or something because there’s no other excuse for owning, let alone displaying said wooden markers.

I don’t have a yard. Remember, Maria paved everything for safety. However, if I did have a yard, I most certainly wouldn’t stuff it full of Mother Mary,

Duuuuuuh

Buddha, Winnie the Pooh or Bruins signs. Personally, I favor the tradition rose-bush and hammock. But based solely upon all of my neighbors’ preferences, maybe I’m the weird one…

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